Office Hours - We Could Be

[shieldof]

[Faith's door remains closed, the brass "PRIVATE" plaque silent and unyielding. Trying to force the door yields no results, but- she said you could contact her here, so just go ahead and knock. Worst case scenario, you're no worse off than before, right?]

((OOC: Please tag your top-levels with the appropriate week and day.))

Comments

[qilinzuo]

You don't look it.

...But, no judgment here, either way. It's been a long day.

[ Childe knows all of them are going to be ran ragged, so he points out both. He will follow inside right away at that. ]

Also, there's something else too.

You've been looking out for us all this time. I'd been thinking about it, even before everything began to spiral even more out of control. I appreciate it - and I know, it's going to get even more tough from now on.

All the same, since you got our backs, I've got yours. Know what I mean?

[shieldof]

I- appreciate the thought. But perhaps you should not.

[qilinzuo]

[ Childe's brows raise, in what appears to be slight confusion, because he doesn't quite get it. It's alright, he's slow in such matters. ]

Why not?

[shieldof]

This is only going to continue.

[Ha ha. She is so tired.]

It- was perhaps foolish of me to engage with you all on a level beyond my duties.

[qilinzuo]

I'm not surprised.

...It doesn't mean it was foolish for you to reach out, though.

Because you did, we had the chance to get to know you better. Doesn't mean things can't change for the better - that we can't all make it work, and stop this. Maybe you can't directly oppose your god, but it doesn't mean it's all for nothing.

[ He remembers a certain discussion he had with someone here. But, he believes it's possible...maybe she can be liberated from this being as well. Maybe not. But they'll see. ]

[shieldof]

I hope you are correct, Sir Childe.

[She rubs at her eyes with the heel of her palms for a moment.]

I- admit I have been attempting to sway Solarinace away from this course. But with little success, obviously.

[qilinzuo]

Well, let's keep that hope alive. Trust me when I say I'll keep fighting to the bitter end for it.

[ Childe hopes his words are reassuring when he says this much, because even if he's being realistic without losing that determination, it's not going to be all roses and sunshine. ]

...To be honest, I don't think your god's going to listen all that much. Beings like that are particularly stubborn.

Though, I'm curious to hear what reasons you've been given...you know, for being shot down and all.

[ He would not be surprised if the god was rude to her, but one way to find out. ]

[shieldof]

They are-

[She pauses, chewing her lip.]

There are things I cannot say directly. They have said- gods do not see the world as mortals do, do you understand? I am not speaking of morality or priorities, I mean the fundamental way they experience existence is different from ours.

[qilinzuo]

Really...they said something to that effect to you?

[ ... ]

What a patronizing bastard.

[ Childe says this with actual surprise as well like, wow! The literal cojones on this (gender-neutral) guy. He just so happens to also genuinely really want to kill them even more - too bad they are well beyond his reach. The chance is practically zero. ]

Of course, that's what a mortal like me would think, differences in ideology and all! I know you're of a different mind too, it just sounds that way to me. I do kind of wonder what exactly they're supposed to be a god of as well...maybe that's probably another layer to their line of thought.

[shieldof]

It is less anything they have said directly, and more the sum of my personal experiences communing with them. Sometimes-

[She pauses, considering.]

Very rarely, when we are in close communication, I get the barest glimpses of the scales on which they perceive things constantly.

[qilinzuo]

Sounds like there is a lot for you to perceive of them, then.

[ Childe wishes that it was a more of a simpler matter in this regard - but in some ways, it is. In that it is a being so large in concept, that thoughts in a conventional manner are potentially a bit beyond that.

...Though, there is something particularly odd about that phrasing as well - not in regards to doubting Faith. Rather, regarding the "concept" of the being. No, maybe he's overthinking...and he's not made for that. ]

I guess they're able to section off some things of their perception from you. Which makes sense, since it'd probably be too much information.

It doesn't hurt or anything, right? Perceiving those glimpses or communing.

[shieldof]

It is- a bit intense, but no. I have never actually been harmed by any of our interactions, but thank you for your concern.

["physically or emotionally, faith" anyway-]

It's- rather like a sudden rush of speed, or a moment of freefall, without the inevitable hard landing.

[qilinzuo]

[ How intense?, are the exact kind of thoughts that come to life in Childe's mind. He brushes things off easily when there is harm to him as well (of any sort), but packing away that worry, he waits for her to finish regardless. ]

Sounds practically disorienting...so, "intense" is definitely an accurate word for it.

Though, I've got to wonder, how do you hold onto your sense of self? Practice? If you can't stick the landing, it'd be hard to make sense of anything, after all.

It can apply to a lot of things, but this too.

[ He can't imagine communing with a higher entity, but needing to make sense of surroundings in the face of a fall after such disorientation...personal experience can make him imagine something like that. ]

[shieldof]

I suppose practice is the best way to describe it.

[It's never been something she's had to question before now, being so baked into her purpose and role as Solarinace's apostle.]

Communing with my god is something I've done to some degree or another as long as I remember. In smaller ways at first, though I would not have been able to recognize it as practice for my true purpose until later.

[qilinzuo]

Right, it's like...guiding when someone is young on how to learn to get used to the weight they've got to use when walking around, or something like that.

[ Given the entire situation at hand, it'd make more than enough sense if Faith didn't have cause to question it much.

But, never too late for her to think about the subject, at least. ]

...Speaking of which, what's the very first thing you learned that really caught your attention? You know, made you realize you got a rush or thrill about finding out more?

[shieldof]

Oh- easily. I still recall the first spell I successfully cast. Seeing the ways the universe worked, the flow of the weave, and just- having it click into place.

[qilinzuo]

That sounds like a lot for a first time spell!

[ You know...he's still working on his 'raising morale' and 'people's mood' skills from those not from his world, but maybe talking about this sort of thing can cheer her up. He never considered that! ]

...I'm not strictly a mage, but I've got my own skill in magic, so I know it can take awhile when you're first trying to get a hang of it.

Is the first spell you managed to learn your favorite? Or is it another kind?